


The Bees and The Bees: an Essay by John Suh

by Justevan3



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack, Gen, Humor, Johnny has "the talk" with Mark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 09:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16930701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justevan3/pseuds/Justevan3
Summary: IMPORTANT RESEARCHDO NOT TOUCH(THIS MEANS YOU TAEYONG)PROPERTY OF:JOHNNY SUH





	The Bees and The Bees: an Essay by John Suh

**Author's Note:**

> It's finals szn, we're snowed in, so here's some crack based on a text convo i had w my bestie

 

 

Data Collection 1 

 

Something is going on with Mark and Haechan.

 

Exhibit A:

What were once semi-regular, bi-weekly to monthly movie nights had turned into “let’s watch movies together whenever Jaehyun-hyung is out.” Jaehyun has been forced to relocate sleeping locations more than ten times* because of this.

      *Note: When Doyoung asked (jokingly) if they should switch roommates back, movie nights ceased for eight days.

 

Exhibit B:

Skinship patterns have altered. Mark now allows Haechan into his “bro-zone”** for upwards of thirty seconds at a time before deflecting. He also initiates contact 40% more often than previous data. However, Mark still does not give or receive affection as openly or frequently with Haechan as he does with Jungwoo and WinWin.

     **Note: The “bro-zone,” as termed by Mark Lee, is the space within 8 inches of his body. Most people know this as one’s “personal space.”

 

Exhibit C:

There has been at least a 200% increase in cute*** interactions. Taeyong has had to tell _me_ to go to bed while I was researching past his gaming hours numerous times over the period of study.

     ***Note: Based on comparing the amount of Johnny Squeals to the duration and credibility of observed content.

 

I have some ideas about what may be going on here, but more data is required. I will conduct interviews and report back with my findings.

 

* * *

 

Johnny spins idly in Haechan’s desk chair, waiting for Mark to come by as he does every other night.

 

“Donghyuck-ah, I think I’ve found a good movie for to-” Mark pauses as he steps through the doorway, laptop open in his hands, “Hyung? What are you doing here?” He peeks his head out into the hallway, checking to make sure he had actually gone to the right room. “This isn’t your room.”

 

Johnny raises his eyebrows.

 

“It’s not yours either, Mark.”

 

“Well, no, but I-” Mark sputters, somehow managing to set his laptop down on Haechan’s desk, “Where’s Dong- uh, Haechan?”

 

“Doyoung took him to the convenience store a little while ago. They should be back soon.” Johnny reaches over and drags Jaehyun’s desk chair in front of him. “Why don’t you sit? We can just have a chat until they get back.”

 

Mark’s brow furrows, but he slowly lowers himself into the chair anyway.

 

“Okay…What did you want to ‘chat’ about, hyung?”

 

Johnny laces his fingers in his lap.

 

“Mark, I know that your body has been going through changes in the past year. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, Haechan has too.”

 

The furrow in Mark’s brow finds a way to deepen.

 

“Yeah…? Hyung, what...what are you talking about right now?”

 

Johnny puts his hands up. He has to keep Mark here and engaged in the conversation. This is _crucial_ to his research. And Mark’s health!

 

“Now, now, don’t worry, it’s all perfectly natural! We’ve all been there! And I’m sure you’re feeling pretty confused by everything. I remember how I felt when Ten started ‘growing up’...”

 

Johnny zones out for a second, faint whispers of ‘you’ll never know unless you try, hyung’ dart through his mind. He shakes himself out of it. This was about Mark, not him! Luckily, that also seemed to be the exact amount of time that Mark needed to process what Johnny was saying.

 

“What? ‘Growing up’? ‘Natural’?” Mark laughs stiffly, “Hyung, why does it sound like you’re trying to tell me about ‘the birds and the bees’ or something?”

 

“Or the birds and the birds, and the bees and the bees! Love is love, Mark.”

 

Mark squints at the carpet like he’s lost a contact.

 

“The bees and the…” His eyes widen and he looks up at Johnny. “Hyung, I’m not _gay!”_

 

Johnny quickly reaches out and sets a hand on Mark’s knee. The last thing he needed was Mark panicking, and Mark clearly wasn’t as far along in his personal discovery as Johnny expected. New plan, comfort and reassurance!

 

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being gay! Jesus still loves you.”

 

Just then a _force_ bursts through the doorway, convenience store bags swinging from his arms.

 

“Ooh, this looks like a serious conversation,” Haechan sing-songs, tossing his bags haphazardly onto his bed, “What are we talking about?”

 

Mark blurts out, “Nothing!” at the same time Johnny says, “Puberty.” Johnny turns his head back to Mark, who is increasingly resembling a tomato. A grin spreads across his lips and he pats Mark’s knee twice before standing up.

 

“Well, I’ll leave you two alone. I know you’ve got a lot of _movies_ to watch.”

 

Mark chokes over a “hyung!” as Johnny starts out of the room.

 

“And leave the door open!” he says sternly, but not too stern. He has a “cool dad” image to maintain.

 

He hears Haechan say, “Hyung, what was that all about?” and Mark’s responding groan as he heads down the hall

 

* * *

 

Data Collection 2 

 

Mark Lee Interview 1:

        Mark is “not gay”. Other responses seem to indicate there may be more to this statement. Further research is required.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I might add to this? Maybe? as I have ideas in line with this... ye
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
